we're chasing vodka with high fives
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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