I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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