i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You smell like stripper and shame
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
