R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
