Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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