He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
