It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize