Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
