Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
