Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize