Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
