It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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