I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
