I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
