I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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