Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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