Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
