Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She bit a glass in half.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
