I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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