my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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