he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
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So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
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I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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