No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
