I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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