But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
