I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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