Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit