I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.