I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
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I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.