Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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