i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
