I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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