first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
