i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
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aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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