Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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