Whatcha textin bout Willis?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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