She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize