i permit you to call me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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