i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
