She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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