Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you told grandpa to call you daddy
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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