why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.