it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel