you guys were way drunker than both of me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
