Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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