After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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