fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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