NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm at about main and main street
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
