I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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