dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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