Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
