Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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