this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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