ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
