Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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