just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
