Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize