HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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