you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
