That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
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she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
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Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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