You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
