I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
