chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
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