There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i came on her dog
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
