i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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