the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
