is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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