how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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