once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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