Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize